I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
