Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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