I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
