fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
