Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
