Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
