I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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