I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I looked at my own cervix.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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