I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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