I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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