i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize