she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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