i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So much Jack, so little girl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize