can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
