i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
