Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
