I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The beer is more important than you right now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
