i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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