As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
