I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
