did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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