Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
