my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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