How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
