PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
