Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
