Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
