I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I love you. Go after that dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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