I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
