all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
