take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
