actually, I'm a sock model
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This is my gift to your gina
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
