So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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