summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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