I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
