You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
