I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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