my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
