So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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