Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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