I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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