Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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