video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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