I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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