I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize