Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
