i just had sex bonerless
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
