I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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