I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
