Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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