You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
