I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
