ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
