I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
