Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
