I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Small penises have feelings too.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
