You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize