The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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